When will the morning break?
Updated: May 25
"I know you feel afraid.
Sometimes I feel the same.
It takes your breathe away.
When will the morning break?" - Amanda Cook
Driving home and these words echo loudly in my ears. Amanda Cook is an incredible songwriter. The way she pins lyrics and melodies always leaves me in awe. But there was something in hearing these words tonight that hit a little harder. When will the morning break?
No one really knows - and for the most part that is what freaks someone like me out. To be honest last week I was just grumpy. I couldn't quite pinpoint it but I was frustrated and annoyed. I am single person, I miss my friends and family. I miss the warmth of people's presence and I miss hugs - like really. Grumpiness turned into sadness and by Friday evening the tears were streaming. Now don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. I cry in happy endings and sad ones, it doesn't take much. But this was a cry from pure frustration. I couldn't change anything about the circumstances, as with all of us - but I also just wanted to see a glimmer of HOPE.
That's when I remembered some of the conversation we had in last weeks podcast with Jaci. She quoted Proverbs 13:12 - "hope deferred makes the heart sick". And I had this ah-ha moment - I realised that that was it! I was hopeful and expectant that things would look a bit different now. And maybe you too thought the same. Now I never thought that it would only be three weeks but I did not think it would last as long as this and without much direction of what is ahead. Hope deferred - meaning that it's been put off to a later time. Postponed. Maybe it's your wedding, your graduation, your birthday, your job or simply your beautiful mundane day to day that has been put off. And out of that we can become discouraged and disappointed. Without much to see beyond.
All I can see by watching the news is a deep dark hole - suicide rates double, domestic violence is through the roof, malnutrition, job loss, death, Covid and more. It all feels so heavy and yet in this we are supposed to find hope? HOW?
Now, I write all of that not to be a Debby Downer (apologies to all the Debbies out there but that fitted right in here) - but to let you know that if you feel like that, you are not alone! If you feel frustrated - hey - you are not alone! I am right there and here is what I am learning: Hold on! Yea I know - deep, deep stuff here. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.
God will meet you in the messy middle of your life. He will lift you out of the mud and make a way. To be honest - this is as much for me as it is for you. Be gracious to yourself in this season. Some of you are parent, teacher, boss, still need to clean the house and feed the kids and you are CRUSHING it! Some of you are maybe feeling isolated and alone - wishing for some of that chaos. But remember that above all - God is still God. He is still sovereign and kind.
And again, this is an opportunity for a sweet moment of surrender. I am learning that surrender is a daily thing and sometimes hourly. It has so many layers and each brings a level of freedom (at least for me). That realisation that we were never in control anyway. So what can we do? In this season I continue to learn that all I can do is be obedient with what is in my hands. Like Untamed - a beautiful business that allows a creative expression I didn't even know I had within me. Strategy and creation. Worship. Holding onto the words that God spoke about our company and trusting him at his word.
I think to find hope, it's time for us to take God at his word - whether you believe it yet or not - and trust that He is faithful.